When I was nine years old I got bone cancer that began in my left knee and spread so much that my leg had to be amputated and I had to live with a prosthetic leg.
I had an easy-going personality, so when I was 9 years old and my parents told me that my leg had to be amputated, I really did not think too much about it. That might sound strange, but I believe it was God’s grace that I was able to put so much trust in Him and in my parents. But as I grew up, I began to see how it affected my life, and I had to fight to keep that trust.
Feeling sorry for myself
I remember, as a teenager looking at pictures of myself with my friends, I would think: “My leg really sticks out in this picture, it looks horrible.” Or playing soccer and thinking, “If only I didn’t have a prosthetic leg, then I could be a good player.”
But God showed me that these thoughts were just self-pity, feeling sorry for myself. And self-pity is the enemy! It begins as just one thought and if you don’t take up the battle and fight against it and refuse to give in, then it can grow into a great darkness which is difficult to come out of.
Self-pity causes you to think only about what you want and need, and about how other people should treat you. You start making demands on others and soon you are full of unthankfulness and bitterness. For a Christian, it is easy to see that these kinds of thoughts have nothing to do with God’s thoughts.
“For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.” 2 Timothy 1:7 (ESV).
I first have to see self-pity as a sin, as an enemy. When I see that it is something that is against God’s will, then I can choose to hate it. (Psalm 139:21-22.) Then I can take up the armour of God and destroy it. (Ephesians 6:13-17; Deuteronomy 28:7.) It helps to see clearly that giving in to self-pity just leads to sorrow, emptiness, darkness and helplessness; it has destroyed millions of lives. Why would I choose to give in to it?
Perfect trust in God
My prosthetic leg often needs to be repaired. And then it feels like my life comes to a stop until it can be fixed and things are back to normal. Situations like this can bring up a lot of worry. What if they can’t fix it as fast as I think they should? Will I miss work? What if this happens, or that happens?
Just like self-pity, I need to see worry as an enemy. This enemy is a lack of faith and trust in God. Jesus says, “Your heavenly Father knows that you need them. Instead, desire first and foremost God’s kingdom and God’s righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.” Matthew 6:32-33 (CEB). If I believe this verse and choose to obey it in simple faithfulness, then I find rest. God wants us to trust Him completely and overcome all doubt.
James writes: “But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. Such a person is double-minded and unstable in all they do.” James 1:6-8 (NIV). Jesus also said several times, “It shall be done for you according to your faith!” Matthew 9:29 (NASB).
Only for my eternal benefit
My situations were planned specifically just for me. If I focus on my eternal goal, I can see that it is just as Paul says to the Corinthians: “We have small troubles for a while now, but they are helping us gain an eternal glory that is much greater than the troubles. We set our eyes not on what we see but on what we cannot see. What we see will last only a short time, but what we cannot see will last forever.” 2 Corinthians 4:17-18 (NCV). It’s not about the outward situations that I have here on this earth, it’s about finding the things that are displeasing to God (the enemies like self-pity and worry) and overcoming them.
In eternity, my earthly situations will have passed away, but what will remain is what I have gained from them. As I fight against sin, I will get more and more of the fruit of the Spirit in my life. I will become more unselfish, generous and good towards others if self-pity is put to death. I will get a complete faith and trust in God when I fight against all worry and doubt. That’s what will remain in eternity – love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. (Galatians 5:22-23.) I am called to be full of these things in my life. (Ephesians 3:19.)
Everyone has situations that are planned perfectly just for them. Most likely your situation is different from mine, but have you thought about your own? Can you see that the situations in your own life are working for your eternal benefit, like we can read in Romans 8:28? Do you really believe that? If you do, then there is no reason to let self-pity, doubt, worry or discouragement into your life!
