“No one thinks of me. I wish someone would do something for me; I wish someone would care about me; I wish …”
These thoughts ran through my head as I lay in bed after a long day. I was unhappy because of something that had happened, and I blamed my friends for it. “None of my friends do anything for me.” I only wish I had known at that moment how harmful these thoughts were, that such thoughts could destroy my life.
I was being selfish
I didn’t see how selfish I was being - not at first. I prayed to God and asked Him for a way out of the loneliness that I felt was “eating me up”. I hoped and prayed that He would send someone to help me, but instead, God showed me over a period of time how I was only thinking of myself and He showed me a way out.
I first thought that the way out would be that someone would suddenly show up in my life and solve all my problems. But instead, I found out that I, myself, was the person who could do something about the problem that I had, instead of waiting for someone else to fix things for me.
God showed me through His Word how selfish I was. These thoughts about “poor me,” “no one likes me,” “me, me, me” were always just about myself and how I felt. God’s Word speaks clearly about being selfish: “For wherever there is jealousy and selfish ambition, there you will find disorder [unrest] and evil of every kind.” James 3:16 (NLT). His Word was true: I only found unrest in my thoughts. I was always waiting for somebody else. My life became full of worry and unrest. I was hoping for the others to think of me and do things for me.
I could be a friend to others
But God’s Word says in Philippians 2:3-4 (CEB): “ ... with humility think of others as better than yourselves. Instead of each person watching out for their own good, watch out for what is better for others.” That was the solution to my problem. It’s actually very simple. Sometimes it’s just giving a smile or just saying a few good words to bless others.
I find comfort in God’s Word: Jesus tells us that we should love our neighbours as ourselves. (Mark 12:31.) We should love the others as much as we love ourselves. My mindset has changed. Instead of always being unhappy, always wanting others to help me, never finding true rest, always wanting more, I can be someone that is always trying to help others.
Satan tries as hard as he can to get me to change my mind. I find myself being tempted to think only about myself and my own problems again. But I keep saying No to these thoughts and I overcome these temptations one by one. I pray to God to give me grace and power so that I can overcome every time I’m tempted. When these thoughts and feelings come, I have to cry out to God to help me become free from being selfish. Then I choose to rather bless those around me.
My life has turned around
I know now that my life is not useless. I no longer have to wait for others, and I no longer have to depend on my feelings. The result is eternal happiness and not only feeling good for a little while when someone else has done something for me. I know that I can overcome every temptation and every sin because God says so in the Bible. “And God is faithful. He will not allow the temptation to be more than you can stand. When you are tempted, he will show you a way out so that you can endure.” 1 Corinthians 10:13 (NLT).
Now, instead of just thinking of myself and how I feel, I can see the needs of other people around me. I can reach out to others who may feel alone, I can help and encourage them. I can be a disciple of Jesus who believes God’s Word and does the good.
“So let’s not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don’t give up.” Galatians 6:9 (NLT).