I saw the hurt expression on my friend’s face and realised what I’d done… I had said something without thinking about how my words would affect others.
I can be completely unaware of the effect that my words or actions have. My reactions, my attitude, the way that I see things—these things might actually be making it very difficult for people around me. Maybe people have to tolerate and bear with me a lot, just because I haven’t thought about how my words or actions would affect them!
But why does this happen? Not only with me, but with many people? The reason is that we are all born with a nature that is corrupted by sin. Paul describes it like this: “And I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature … I have discovered this principle of life—that when I want to do what is right, I inevitably do what is wrong.” Romans 7:18,21 (NLT).
Causing harm without meaning to
It’s because of this sinful human nature in which nothing good lives, that my words and actions can hurt others, and I’m often not even aware of this.
I’m not talking about saying or doing harmful things on purpose. I’m talking about things like being stubborn, I don’t really see the harmful effect of being “unwilling to change” on those around me. Or maybe I boast without thinking, making the others feel unimportant or stupid. Maybe I stress about something, making it harder for people around me. Even when I post or send a message and only afterward realise that I really did it to impress someone.
To say sorry to others or that you didn’t mean it this way, is good when needed, but there’s something else that is even more important. In 1 John 1:5-7 it says, “God is light and in Him is no darkness at all … But if we walk in the light as He is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus Christ His Son cleanses us from all sin.” And in 1 Peter 2:9 (NCV) it says, “But you are a chosen people, royal priests, a holy nation, a people for God’s own possession. You were chosen to tell about the wonderful acts of God, who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light.”
These verses talk about “walking in the light”, and this means that the ugly things that live in my human nature become little by little more clear and visible for me so that I can cleanse them out. How should I do this? I should be humble: I should admit how it is with myself and ask God for help.
“God resists the proud but gives grace to the humble.” James 4:6. This grace means that I get “light”, so that I can see things clearly—as they really are—and it also means that I get the help to overcome them, even before they come out and become things that harm others. As a disciple who wants to be like my Master, I want to become free from my sinful nature, and so I actively think about how I can do things better.
I make the choice to overcome
“There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus, who do not walk according to the flesh, but according to the Spirit.” Romans 8:1. Even though I have this sinful nature and therefore don’t do everything perfectly, I can’t let Satan accuse me for this. Satan tries everything to fill me with doubt and despair, but the truth is that God knows that I have this nature that is full of stubbornness, boasting, a lack of patience and love, seeking to please people, etc. But even though I have this nature, or flesh, in which nothing good lives, I don’t need to walk according to the flesh, according to my sinful nature. I don’t have to allow those sins to rule my life.
Instead, I can choose to walk according to the Spirit and overcome when I am tempted by the sin in my nature. (Galatians 5:16-25.) And the Spirit will give me little by little more light over the sinful things that live in my nature, things that I didn’t see before.
We read in Galatians 5:16 (GNT), “Let the Spirit direct your lives, and you will not satisfy the desires of the human nature.” How wonderful that I have these promises and that I can become the exact opposite of being a burden and being difficult. I become more and more of a blessing to others, able to help them and have good, encouraging words to give.
