I am the seventh child in a family of ten. Our house was always loud and busy when we were growing up. We were noisy and not very obedient or easy to handle. But as we grew up we could sense that something was happening in my mother’s life. There was a real change taking place in her.
By nature, my mother could easily get angry. Though she was trying to be the best mother she could be - and she was a very good mother - she easily got angry, and frustrated.
A new outlook on the situations
But over time we started to notice that the things that previously frustrated her, no longer seemed to have that effect. She didn’t complain anymore that things weren’t fair, and we no longer sensed that everything was too much for her. Recently, in a conversation with her, I got the answer to this change we saw.
“This is the day that the Lord has made. Let us rejoice and be glad today!” Psalm 118:24 (NCV).
My mother told me she decided to believe in this verse and she held fast to it. No matter what happened during a day, she would repeat this verse to herself, “This is the day that the Lord has made; I will rejoice and be glad today.” And that also meant that even when things seemed to go against her, today was also a day the Lord had made, and these situations were carefully chosen for her by God.
It was in these situations that she discovered the sin in her nature - the impatience, the irritation - that limited her in her desire to be always patient, loving and gentle. But seeing her limitations meant she could do something about it, and in God’s Word she found the help to do so. She learned to take it as James tells us to do:
“My brothers and sisters, when you have many kinds of troubles, you should be full of joy, because you know that these troubles test your faith, and this will give you patience. Let your patience show itself perfectly in what you do. Then you will be perfect and complete and will have everything you need." James 1:2-4 (NCV).
She learned to be happy in the situations as they were. It was an incredible development. She understood that if she wanted to get more of the fruit of the Spirit, her own demands and will in the situations had to die. So when things went against her own will, she would be glad that now she had an opportunity to do God’s will instead of her own. This meant that she had to say No to her natural reactions, and the result was that it was no longer the sin in her nature that controlled her reactions, but God could guide her through His Word and the Holy Spirit.
Believing that God was working
Even then, my mum said there were times where she didn’t feel like she was making any progress in overcoming her anger. But then she held on to God’s word in Philippians 1:6 (CEV), “God is the one who began this good work in you, and I am certain that he won't stop before it is complete on the day that Christ Jesus returns.” God had promised to finish the work that He began in her, and she knew that the day would come when she would be totally free from this terrible anger.
The result was that we could all see how she changed. Her frustration at the situations were replaced with joy and patience. It was a change that made her a better mother and made her much happier. Nothing could go wrong anymore!
For example, she used to get angry at us when we misbehaved, and she had a sharp tongue. Over time we sensed that she was overcoming this anger. She just stopped getting angry. We now know her to be gentle, kind and patient. This verse comes to mind when I think of the mother I experience today:
“Let your gentleness be known to everyone. The Lord is near.” Philippians 4:5 (NRSV).
She is a woman who now radiates kindness and goodness, patience and joy. These fruits of the Spirit we see in her life create a tremendous longing in others to come to the same life.
“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control …” Galatians 5:22-23.
I know for certain that the change I saw in my mother as I grew up was something completely godly. In addition, it stirs me on to come to this life myself, so that my life can also draw others, just like my mother’s life was for me.
So thank you, dear mother, for the example you have been. Your children are forever grateful to you for showing us that it is totally possible and worthwhile to completely change!
