“I am nothing. All the others are better than me. I’m not good at anything.” Many people are familiar with such thoughts. In my teenage years, I struggled with thoughts like these, but with help from the Word of God, I began to believe in myself.
I didn’t think anyone would like me if they got to know me. I was a quiet and shy girl in my teenage years. I was the type of person who preferred to be alone and read a book. I was content to be alone.
I struggled with low self-esteem and with little belief in myself. When I was with other people, I always felt that I was worse than the others. I felt like a nobody. Like all the others are better than I am - I’m not good at anything. Because of my low self-esteem, I didn’t share my own opinions when I was with others whom I felt were “better” than I was, because I so much wanted them to like me. Because I wanted to be liked by others, I changed my own opinions to be the same as whomever I was together with.
I hated conflict, so I always agreed with what the others said. One result of this was that I was bound by other people in many ways. I wasn’t myself. I also had problems when two people to whom I had said two different things, came together. In many ways I was living a lie.
One evening in my late teens, I prayed, “God, you must show me what I am doing wrong!” Shortly after that I heard a message about what's written in Revelation 3:1, “… you have a name that you are alive, but you are dead.”
I felt very bad. I was behaving like a good girl, but on the inside things were not as they should be.
I realised that I needed to be myself for God to be able to use me. In Psalms it’s written that we are fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalms 139:14). God knew what He was doing when He created me. He had a plan for my life.
It was in the Word of God that I found help to believe in myself.
It’s written in 1 Corinthians 4:7, “What do you have that you did not receive? Now if you did indeed receive it, why do you boast as if you had not received it?”
I began to realise that I really had received something from God. God had given me my own personality and He had also given me victory over sin in my personal life. Over time my mindset changed—from worrying about what people around me thought about me, to thinking about what God was thinking about me.
Now a new time started for me. I began to share my own opinions when I was with others, and I began to share the victories I had won. Slowly but surely, I got rid of thoughts like “I'm nobody; I have nothing to share.”
In the beginning I felt like I was losing friends. The people around me weren't used to me having my own opinions. So my new way of being shocked them a little. But I learned a lot about friendship at the time.
You don’t have to have the same opinions in order to be friends. It might even be a good thing to have different opinions and learn from each other’s way of doing things. I also discovered new aspects of myself.
I realised that there actually were things I was good at. I loved sports, I liked thinking up things to do, and I had good contact with the younger girls.
As a shy teenager, I would rather have stayed at home. But I realised that it was very important for me to spend time with other young people.
So I forced myself to go out, even though it meant leaving my “safe” area. Little by little, I became stronger and more self-confident. Finally, I began to believe that there was something of value in how God had created me.
A healthy self-esteem has been a great help for me in my battle against sin. Because of it I have received grace to be a young person with confidence and to be pure in the area of youthful lusts. A good self-image has also helped me to chase away Satan.
If you think too little of yourself, you can easily get a weak conscience. Satan is the accuser, and if I think badly of myself to start with, then what Satan has to say can look quite reasonable. As you start to see yourself as having value, Satan can’t easily deceive you.
It didn’t come easily. I had to fight my way to a healthy and positive self-image. Many young people are familiar with thoughts like “I’m nobody; I’m not good at anything; everyone else is better than me.” Maybe it is especially easy for girls to think, “I'm not pretty enough, I'm too fat,” etc.
But such thoughts do not come from above. For me, it was very important to come to the point where I could live in peace with God and myself.
God's thoughts for you are not that you should have low self-esteem. Here are some things that you can tell yourself to overcome the harmful effects of low self-esteem:
Think like this: “I believe that God has chosen me and has a perfect plan for my life. I am who I am for a reason.”
Accept the good things people say about you. You are not worthless; God has created you and you need to believe that you have value.
See the possibilities, not the obstacles. Then you can use the opportunities that come along to learn to master new things. This is good for your self-esteem.
Do not make demands on yourself to be someone or something you are not! God chose to make you the way that you are.