Even though she grew up as a Christian and lived a good, upright life, Naomi came to a point where she felt like something wasn’t right; something was missing. She realised that she didn’t fully believe that she could become like Jesus. It was this doubt that was holding her back.
Naomi:
I sat in church with tears in my eyes. From the podium I heard a powerful speech about overcoming sin, about a life where my sinful human nature could change to become godly. (2 Corinthians 5:17.) While speeches like that usually lifted me up, recently I started feeling like something was missing in my life.
Maybe the hardest was that I felt like I had lived a good life and always believed. I thought I was giving everything, but still I could clearly sense that something was lacking. I felt like I could never come to the same life that Jesus lived, that I couldn’t be changed from my sinful human nature to getting godly nature, even though the Bible clearly says it’s possible.
But still I knew I wanted it and I believed that this was God’s plan for me! There was nothing else in life I wanted than to live the life of a disciple, following in Jesus’ footsteps and overcoming every temptation to sin. It was a sorrow to me that I had this doubt that God would really change me, and I knew that life was passing me by, and I wasn’t using it as I should. This became stressful for me.
It is sin to doubt God
So, I didn’t give up. I prayed to God that He would show me what I was missing. He showed me that the reason things seemed heavy was because I doubted that He was able to change me, where I was, in my daily life and with the human nature that I had. And I started to understand that it is actually sin to doubt Him! The day that I named my doubt as sin, was the day that I realised I could overcome it, just like I could overcome any other sin, it was as if a burden was lifted! It was as though the lights were turned on again.
To begin with I didn’t know how to fight the temptation to doubt – or where I should even start. But I realised that becoming free from doubt was not a one-time thing, but a battle that I should take up every time I was tempted to doubt. It was a choice I was going to make every day, to believe that I could be changed.
The answer was much simpler than I first thought. I have to decide and believe that God can do His work in me. He’s asking me to trust in Him completely and believe that He will give me all the power that I need. If I don’t believe that, He can’t work with me. “But without faith it is impossible to please Him.” Hebrews 11:6.
My feelings don’t matter
So, I stopped waiting to “feel” like I believed. I made a decision that I would believe. My motto is, “Pray, believe, and give thanks.” Now I wake up in the morning, I pray, I believe that God has heard my prayer, and I thank Him. Then I begin the day believing that it will be a day of overcoming sin. The prayer of my heart is, “Lord, I believe; help my unbelief!” Mark 9:24. And God has really helped me! And He helps me the most with fighting unbelief by giving me the power to overcome when I pray for help.
And from the moment I chose to believe, I saw how much my daily life changed! While before the days just passed by, as soon as I believed that I could become like Jesus, I started to see all the opportunities that there actually were in my daily life.
The time is now
The burden, the heaviness, and the uncertainty that were there before do not have power over my life now. And the result is that I am becoming happier and happier. That’s how I know it’s true. Something is happening in me.
It’s actually a really simple life. You don’t need to feel like it, you just need action. Just take it moment by moment. Be faithful in the small things that God gives you in the situations of daily life. Just be willing to do whatever God puts in front of you to do. How I take it when the big trials come has to do with how I take it now. Our whole life is made up of “nows.” Start believing now. Start saying No to sin now. You don’t have to wait for anything.
Every time I say No to doubt, it is destroying a little bit of the doubt that is so part of my human nature. And that part is dead forever. I think of it as a mountain, and I’m just chipping away at it bit by bit, and I don’t see every little dent I make, but that’s where faith comes in. I believe that if I just keep chipping, one day the mountain will be gone. It’s just a matter of time.
“Who are you, O great mountain? Before Zerubbabel you shall become a plain!” Zechariah 4:7.
An everyday decision
So now, every day, I make the decision that I’m not going to doubt. And even if I feel doubt, that doesn’t mean that I am doubting. It means that I’m tempted to doubt, but I don’t agree with it. I say, “No, I don’t want to doubt, I believe, and I’m going to fight anyway, no matter how I feel.” Then I go through my day and I am simply obedient to what God works in me to do. I do what God says in His word.
So, I look forward to the future. Everything that comes is just another opportunity for me.
“Being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ.” Philippians 1:6.